Friday, July 29, 2011

My Idea of a Summer Job

I'm going camping for a week! Yes, this is my summer job :)
Well it's not gonna be all cozy and fun.

I have to come up with enough stuff to do to entertain 9- and 10-year-old kids!
I'm leaving tomorrow and coming back next Sunday, which means I'll miss Mashrou' Leila's concert tonight since I have to pack and all and try to comfort my mom.
I think she's gonna cry when I leave, I abandoned her alone with my dad... I don't think she'll survive a week.
Anyway, I took/stole one of their poster from Gemmayzeh for a friend... That was fun.

So, I'll be away all week with no internet and no computer.
Just hyperactive, overexcited, tireless, hormonal kids to  keep busy.
Well, it does sound like a job after all.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Gaydrobe Item #2: The Pants

I've never really liked skinny jeans on men. 
I always associated them with those weird people lurking in front of every mall with gravity-defying haircuts. (I'm not really sure all of them were men...)


Slim pants have never been exclusively for women.
They were originally linked to rock and roll and "bad boys".

Elvis, the bad boy 'par excellence'.

So skinny jeans have been popular unisex pants until baggy and large jeans started to replace them. Women still wore their slim-fit jeans though, and that is how they became a specifically female fashion.

So it is only then that skinny jeans started being associated with gay people.
A nice ass or a hot pair of legs were a woman's features.
That is why when celebrities started to appear with these slim jeans, people found that quite shocking. But since, designers are more and more promoting this kind of fashion.

People might say that men are embracing their feminine side, that the lines between men are women are blurred.
I say that men just don't care anymore about what people think.
They just wear whatever they think is comfortable and trendy.
 










Friday, July 22, 2011

Hanging On

With my brother halfway across the world and my sister barely spending time at home and leaving in a couple of days, my mom is jumping on every occasion to hang out with me.
We're having lunch together, she's taking me to dinner and to every minor event she might be interested in.
She's trying to make me feel bad every time I leave her alone.
She even watches Brothers and Sisters with the volume up in the living room to try to lure me out of my room!
Not fun, not fun...

I get it, she is watching the kids she raised for 20 years leave her but that's no reason to grab me and lock me in the house.
I even came back home once cause she was alone and said she missed me. When I got there, I couldn't find her and when I called her I found out she had some plans with her friends... That's just mean!

And after all that, she is trying to convince me to stay in Lebanon after school.
No actually, she's not trying to convince me, she is just implying it like we agreed on it.

It's not that I'm having my adolescent crisis, hating my parents for no apparent reason!
I love my mom.
She's the one having some kind of crisis and now I'm afraid to leave her alone...

I'm going camping for a week and I hope she has something to keep her busy!
Anyway when I come back from that, my sister will be back too and she'll Skype with my brother or something and hopefully things will go back to normal.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Gaydrobe Item #1: The Shirt

V-neck shirts are the sexiest thing ever.
Unfortunately, I rarely see guys wearing these.
Why?




The thing is, V-neck shirts are stylish. And men are not supposed to be stylish. Oh no!
Real men wear suits and nothing else!
Gay men, on the other hand, are stylish.
Therefore, V-neck shirts are gay.

Makes sense doesn't it?
Well no this is completely stubborn.
If being sexy is gay now I'm afraid to the human race lost all its chance of procreating.

Another thing I've noticed is that French guys have this thing with V-necks. It's like their national shirt or something.
And I find this totally hot.
I mean, an accent and a V-neck. Too much for me.

Anyway, for all those straight guys out these, go shopping now and wear those V-necks with pride! Cause those shirts will bring all the girls (and boys) to the yard.

Next Gaydrobe: The Pants.
Can you guess?

Deceased



Miss Dawkins: Oh my God! I can't believe he's dead.


Timothy McGee:  What was your relationship to the deceased?  

Miss Dawkins: He's deceased, too? 

  - NCIS 

Friday, July 15, 2011

It All Ends...

"My childhood has just ended"...
I've heard this sentence so many time these past couple of days.
With the last Harry Potter movie, it all ended indeed.

These novels were a huge part of my life.

At eight, I spent my breaks picking up twigs at school and pretending to jinx my friends. Oh, the days I spend yelling Avada Kedavra at the top of my lungs. My friend had a list of all the spells used in the books and movies. How geeky were we?
At nine, my brother and sister convinced me that they spent their year at Hogwarts and only came back during the summer. They told me that Muggles drinking Polyjuice potion lived with us when they were away. When I asked them what kind of spells they could do, my brother took a lit candle and put the flame out with his fingers, which amazed me.
At eleven, I received no letter from Hogwarts (I did feel disappointed).
At thirteen, I have read all the books at least three times.

I might have not grew up with Harry, but these books were a huge influence on me since I was only a kid when I read most of them, and of course, kids always have this huge imagination.
I always had this little hope every time my brother tried to convince me that magic did exist.
I sometimes looked up in the sky looking for brooms or dragons.
I believed that one day I would get really angry and break or burn something without touching it.

That is why I wanted to read all the seven books all over again before the last movie. 
For the last time I wanted to dive into Rowling's endless world, reading every little detail of every book.
I have only read 6 of the books before the movie though... 
I do believe it is going to be the last time I read them all.
I guess it's time to turn the page.

I wonder, though, if anything could replace Harry Potter?
What will people do now... I mean the kids. No wizard to look up to... Shame.
Isn't there going to be a part of their childhood missing?

Friday, July 1, 2011

Confidence

For some reasons I have noticed all those gay myths we hear about seem more accurate in Lebanon than anywhere else.

We all know that people here in Lebanon tend to pay a lot of attention to their image, to how other people see them. Everyone gossips. News travel fast. You always have to look - let's say - normal.
Therefore, Lebanese men try to avoid acting odd.

A man would try to act butch and manly even if he's feminine deep down.
A man would try to look curious when people talk about sports even if he has really no interest in that subject.
A man would try to look bored every time you mention Britney, Gaga or Cher even if his playlist is like a Gaga shrine.
A man would try to look excited every time people point out that hottie's breast, or that chick's ass even when he's actually staring at the other guy. 

I've met two kind of people who can so perfectly relate to this stereotype.
Homosexuals and metrosexuals - yes that word exists.
Unfortunately, no Lebanese man is confident enough about his sexuality to be metrosexual.

But what is metrosexuality anyway?
I've found 235 definitions online. I'll copy the ones that explain the thing clearly. (And of course the coolest ones)
Straight guys who are mistaken for being gay because of their fashion sense and hygiene habits.
Most gay guys are disappointed to find out that Zach is only metrosexual and not gay.
Sorry Zach, we love you anyway ;)
No disappointment there, really...
A straight guy who’s so cool, smart, attractive, stylish, and cultured, that everyone thinks he’s gay. But he’s so secure in his masculinity that he doesn’t care.
Of course everyone thinks he's gay! *cough*

In other words, David Beckham.

So yeah, anyway, where did I learn that fancy word?
So there's this guy who was at summer camp with me in England. Ok, I'll admit, I thought he was gay at first.
I mean, you cannot put that much perfume on every day and spend half an hour every morning on your hair without being gay for Pete's sake!

Well that was until he added me on Facebook and I found a profile full of pictures of his tongue stuffed down some girl's throat... Well, that had been quite a shock. Hmm...
So one day that teacher goes on about how metrosexual this guy was.
And the guy was smiling, he was actually smiling!
How confident can you get?

Will we ever find that in Lebanon? I think not.
People are too busy thinking about how people look at them to think about their looks.

Anyway, my new favorite show... For the month... Maybe even the week. 
Cougar Town :)



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