Gaydrobe Item #1: The Shirt

V-neck shirts are the sexiest thing ever.
Unfortunately, I rarely see guys wearing these.
Why?

The thing is, V-neck shirts are stylish. And men are not supposed to be stylish. Oh no!
Real men wear suits and nothing else!
Gay men, on the other hand, are stylish.
Therefore, V-neck shirts are gay.

Makes sense doesn't it?
Well no this is completely stubborn.
If being sexy is gay now I'm afraid to the human race lost all its chance of procreating.

Another thing I've noticed is that French guys have this thing with V-necks. It's like their national shirt or something.
And I find this totally hot.
I mean, an accent and a V-neck. Too much for me.

Anyway, for all those straight guys out these, go shopping now and wear those V-necks with pride! Cause those shirts will bring all the girls (and boys) to the yard.

Next Gaydrobe: The Pants.
Can you guess?

Deceased

Miss Dawkins: Oh my God! I can't believe he's dead.


Timothy McGee:  What was your relationship to the deceased?  

Miss Dawkins: He's deceased, too? 

  - NCIS 

It All Ends...

"My childhood has just ended"...
I've heard this sentence so many time these past couple of days.
With the last Harry Potter movie, it all ended indeed.

These novels were a huge part of my life.

At eight, I spent my breaks picking up twigs at school and pretending to jinx my friends. Oh, the days I spend yelling Avada Kedavra at the top of my lungs. My friend had a list of all the spells used in the books and movies. How geeky were we?
At nine, my brother and sister convinced me that they spent their year at Hogwarts and only came back during the summer. They told me that Muggles drinking Polyjuice potion lived with us when they were away. When I asked them what kind of spells they could do, my brother took a lit candle and put the flame out with his fingers, which amazed me.
At eleven, I received no letter from Hogwarts (I did feel disappointed).
At thirteen, I have read all the books at least three times.

I might have not grew up with Harry, but these books were a huge influence on me since I was only a kid when I read most of them, and of course, kids always have this huge imagination.
I always had this little hope every time my brother tried to convince me that magic did exist.
I sometimes looked up in the sky looking for brooms or dragons.
I believed that one day I would get really angry and break or burn something without touching it.

That is why I wanted to read all the seven books all over again before the last movie. 
For the last time I wanted to dive into Rowling's endless world, reading every little detail of every book.
I have only read 6 of the books before the movie though... 
I do believe it is going to be the last time I read them all.
I guess it's time to turn the page.

I wonder, though, if anything could replace Harry Potter?
What will people do now... I mean the kids. No wizard to look up to... Shame.
Isn't there going to be a part of their childhood missing?

Confidence

For some reasons I have noticed all those gay myths we hear about seem more accurate in Lebanon than anywhere else.

We all know that people here in Lebanon tend to pay a lot of attention to their image, to how other people see them. Everyone gossips. News travel fast. You always have to look - let's say - normal.
Therefore, Lebanese men try to avoid acting odd.

A man would try to act butch and manly even if he's feminine deep down.
A man would try to look curious when people talk about sports even if he has really no interest in that subject.
A man would try to look bored every time you mention Britney, Gaga or Cher even if his playlist is like a Gaga shrine.
A man would try to look excited every time people point out that hottie's breast, or that chick's ass even when he's actually staring at the other guy. 

I've met two kind of people who can so perfectly relate to this stereotype.
Homosexuals and metrosexuals - yes that word exists.
Unfortunately, no Lebanese man is confident enough about his sexuality to be metrosexual.

But what is metrosexuality anyway?
I've found 235 definitions online. I'll copy the ones that explain the thing clearly. (And of course the coolest ones)

Straight guys who are mistaken for being gay because of their fashion sense and hygiene habits. Most gay guys are disappointed to find out that Zach is only metrosexual and not gay. Sorry Zach, we love you anyway ;)

No disappointment there, really...

A straight guy who’s so cool, smart, attractive, stylish, and cultured, that everyone thinks he’s gay. But he’s so secure in his masculinity that he doesn’t care.

Of course everyone thinks he's gay! *cough*

In other words, David Beckham.

So yeah, anyway, where did I learn that fancy word?
So there's this guy who was at summer camp with me in England. Ok, I'll admit, I thought he was gay at first.
I mean, you cannot put that much perfume on every day and spend half an hour every morning on your hair without being gay for Pete's sake!

Well that was until he added me on Facebook and I found a profile full of pictures of his tongue stuffed down some girl's throat... Well, that had been quite a shock. Hmm...
So one day that teacher goes on about how metrosexual this guy was.
And the guy was smiling, he was actually smiling!
How confident can you get?

Will we ever find that in Lebanon? I think not.
People are too busy thinking about how people look at them to think about their looks.

Anyway, my new favorite show... For the month... Maybe even the week. 
Cougar Town :)

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Definitions

Summer's theree...

How do you know that summer is finally there?
Look at the sky and watch the cloudless sky...
Or step into my room and see what I've been planning for this vacation!

I know what you're thinking: 'This kid knows how to party!'
Well, what can I do? Quoting ke -dollar sign- ha, 'The party don't start 'till I walk in!'

Endless piles of movies, shows, mangas and books...
God bless those one-dollar DVD shops.

So many things to do and I finally have time on my hands :))

But don't worry, my summer is not all about, let's call it, broadening my personnal culture..
I have to get ready for my SATs and I have a couple of camps and all that stuff other kids do.


I hope you're all having a great summer vacation, if yours have started yet.
If it hasn't, I'm sure you're having a blast getting ready for those finals when everyone else is at the beach being sexy under the shining sun.
Well, what is everyone planning? :)

Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F)

Imagine Katy Perry, Rebecca Black, Darren Criss and Kevin McHale in one music video...

A disaster you must think.

Well, this is definitely going to change your mind!
Kary Perry's new music video, Last Friday Night, is hilarious in every possible way!

Join the Wild Side...

Have any of you ever been asked for an ID before buying alcohol?
Of course not! Lachou?
In Lebanon, anyone can buy as much alcohol as he wants without worrying about this.

I asked a waiter who served my friends beer about it once. He said nobody could get drunk on a beer! Sounds logic... But while shopping for a party (the cart was full of tequila, vodka and beer) the cashier didn't even look at us. And trust me, you could have easily gotten drunk on that...

Anyway, it isn't even about getting drunk or not. Isn't it just wrong for any kid to just walk in a shop or a pub and get a drink with no question asked?

Some people have realized that and try to take care...
Every Tuesday is open wings and beer night at Shtrumpf, but when we asked for our beers the waiter said he couldn't serve us unless we all have an ID. Why? They once served a group of teenagers who got drunk on beer and completely destroyed the restaurant.
So, that's what it took!

But right behind us were some girls our age... with beers! When we asked the waiter about it, he turned white!
He said they looked 20 and that anyway, he can't ask a women for an ID! Then he started panicking about the manager finding out... Oops?

Anyway, isn't unfair for us guys?
Girls can just wear high heels, put some make up on and go get whatever they wants!
And trust me with some tight (very short) shorts and a tiny white shirt, they can get so much more...
What can guys do? Get a fake mustache or something?

Ironically, I think adults drinking is much more dangerous than kids drinking!
Kids can't drive! There goes one of the most dangerous part of drinking.

Also, dunk kids are like the funniest thing ever!
According to Finn on Glee:

Guys and girls fall into certain archetypes when they get drunk.
Exhibit A - Santana, the weepy hysterical drunk.
Lauren Zizes and Quinn... The anger girls drunk!
Brittany, also known as the girl who turns into a stripper drunk.
Mercedes and Santana, the happy girls drunk.
Rachel... Right now you're being the needy girl drunk!

Happy girl drunk! That's most of my friends... They get hyper, dance like lizards and laugh at every little thing. It's also hilarious to hang out with them cause they turn stupid and say the funniest things! And also, you can make them believe, anything. 

The girl who turns into a stripper? Never seen that... Actually, it's mostly guys who turn into strippers for me! Apparently, being drunk make them feel sexy, getting their shirts off and stuff. Oh, what alcohol can do! If only they were hot, wouldn't it be wonderful?

The needy girl drunk! That's a fun one. So I wake up a morning and read a text from Samir "Man, I've made out the whole night with the hottest girl ever! It was the sexiest party, I swear! But I can't even remember her face..."
Half an hour later, another text from Samira "Karim! I was so wasted and mad and I think I was making out with Samir all night long! Kill me now!"
Yes, Samir and Samira are best friends. They were so drunk they needed to get their tongue down someone's throat... Anyone's throat... Hah.
(Yes, Samir and Samira are fake names) 

As for me? I'm a mix of weepy/wise man drunk.
After a couple of shots, I sit in my corner and start to stare at everyone.
Shots, shots, shots... I am tearing up, still in my corner, alone.
Shots, shots, shots... I am looking for someone to talk to. I start sharing my theories on life, existential questions, religion, sexuality...

But that doesn't happen often! I hate the taste of vodka or beer. All I drink is tequila! I even have my own shot glass and mini-sombrero! Hiyah

Yup, it's not alcohol that will make my party wilder.
Something else can though...

So what kind of drunk are you? What drunk experiences do you have to share? (And by that I mean the one you can't share) ;)

What crazy things have you done? 

__________

Image 1 & Image 2