Thank You.

This post is dedicated to J, A, T and P. I don't know if you will ever read this, but this is the only way I have to thank you for what you did.
I am writing this because you gave me faith, faith our lovely Lebanese society, but you also showed me and proved to me that change is coming, slowly but surely.

You used to be the guys I dread. The overly straight dudes who kept randomly throwing homophobic comments, maybe without even realizing it.
Saying 'gay' and 'louteh' might have become a normal thing to do for you, but every time I heard those words, I kept thinking, why, why are you using this particular word every time you have something bad to say?

But all the respect you showed me these last couple of days showed me that you were no enemies, but friends. You respected my privacy and helped me when I needed help.
Your anonymous tips were really helpful.

Anyway, thank you again, and I hope you get to read this :-)

A Year & A Day

Here we are, a year and a day later. Time flies, it flies indeed.
How can I describe what I'm feeling right now?

Relief, mainly because I'm posting things only a few people know, online, for everyone to read. Luckily enough, this blog has maintained its discretion and only a couple of acquaintances found it and made the connection to me.
Regret, mainly because I had to keep my full name to myself, and my spontaneous courage and bravery didn't last long.

You know, sometimes I read some of my old posts and think "Did I really write this?"
I guess it is part of being a teenager. Changing mood and interests so fast that you don't even recognize yourself even after only a year.
I decided to resist the urge to erase every post I've written so far, though. I thought that keeping these is the best way to realize how much I've changed, how much I grew up, which road I had decided to take, the choices I had to make... All these little things that define me, all these parts and pieces of my life, of my soul, all of that is kept in here.

Anyway, I am you and you are me.
I never would have kept this blog alive if it wasn't for you.
My life is yours, our experiences are similar.
So thank you, thank you for reading this, thank you for everything.