I was 15 when I started this blog. I cannot start to describe how miserable my life was back then.
Almost two years later, one single thing has changed.
I am still scared, I am still weak. But I am honest. I am honest to myself and I am honest to my friends. I am honest to anyone that will listen to me.
I am happy.
Now my birthday is not until 3 days from now, but there is no guarantee I will be able to write a post any time soon.
I have been spending my days, and most of my vacation, at school.
The best part is that, on my birthday, I will be standing at a science fair booth from 10AM to 9PM.
Work, work & work. That is all that seems to matter. One more month, and then we are free.
Free you say?
I will barely have time to catch my breath before I start my college applications.
I am running away to the first American college that will take me.
Lebanon.
This country just seems too much for me to handle.
Will things get better in the US? I don't know. I don't think so.
I just need to get out of my routine. Out of this life I am living here...
Somehow, I always forget.
We are lucky. They are not.
We are free. They are not.
Those who cannot leave this country,
those who ignore what lies beyond these borders,
those who will never get out of their routine,
those who will die doing what they have always done,
those who are haunted with questions and will never get the opportunity to answer them,
those who never get the chance to read this and live thinking they are alone,
those who cannot read at all,
are they free?
But can you blame them?
When society puts them in a position where they have to live a life that's not theirs, question their identity rather than the society's cruelty, what choice do they have?
When they have no way of finding answers to basic questions like who they are, what they are, what are these feelings they are experiencing, what choice do they have?
They are trapped between their lies and their secrets. Why? Because they cannot afford freedom.
Yes, freedom has a price. I, for one, believe it lies in education.
It is sad to see that money can be a boundary between freedom and captivity.
I owe my freedom to the internet, the movies I have watched, the inspirational people I have seen.
How can a man who has no access to all that know that he is not freak of nature? How can he learn about LGBT rights?
So, 3 days from now, while blowing the candles on the cupcake my friends smuggled into the university, I will thinking about ignorance and wish for its eradication, once and for all.
Almost two years later, one single thing has changed.
I am still scared, I am still weak. But I am honest. I am honest to myself and I am honest to my friends. I am honest to anyone that will listen to me.
I am happy.
Now my birthday is not until 3 days from now, but there is no guarantee I will be able to write a post any time soon.
I have been spending my days, and most of my vacation, at school.
The best part is that, on my birthday, I will be standing at a science fair booth from 10AM to 9PM.
Work, work & work. That is all that seems to matter. One more month, and then we are free.
Free you say?
I will barely have time to catch my breath before I start my college applications.
I am running away to the first American college that will take me.
Lebanon.
This country just seems too much for me to handle.
Will things get better in the US? I don't know. I don't think so.
I just need to get out of my routine. Out of this life I am living here...
Somehow, I always forget.
We are lucky. They are not.
We are free. They are not.
Those who cannot leave this country,
those who ignore what lies beyond these borders,
those who will never get out of their routine,
those who will die doing what they have always done,
those who are haunted with questions and will never get the opportunity to answer them,
those who never get the chance to read this and live thinking they are alone,
those who cannot read at all,
are they free?
But can you blame them?
When society puts them in a position where they have to live a life that's not theirs, question their identity rather than the society's cruelty, what choice do they have?
When they have no way of finding answers to basic questions like who they are, what they are, what are these feelings they are experiencing, what choice do they have?
They are trapped between their lies and their secrets. Why? Because they cannot afford freedom.
Yes, freedom has a price. I, for one, believe it lies in education.
It is sad to see that money can be a boundary between freedom and captivity.
I owe my freedom to the internet, the movies I have watched, the inspirational people I have seen.
How can a man who has no access to all that know that he is not freak of nature? How can he learn about LGBT rights?
So, 3 days from now, while blowing the candles on the cupcake my friends smuggled into the university, I will thinking about ignorance and wish for its eradication, once and for all.
