The Beard.

Sorry, this is not a post for you all facial hair lovers.
I've been hearing the word 'beard' for a while on some TV shows like Glee and Happy Endings.

So, a beard is actually a person who hide another's sexual orientation by dating him/her or even getting married!
And I must say, this is genius.

The therm 'beard' is also used to conceal infidelity. So, your beard is the person who goes out with the person you are cheating with... Yeah, I won't be needing that... Yet. 

Now I know how you're all going to react: Stop pretending that you're someone you're not! Why do you need to hide your true identity! You were born this way, love yourself!
I know, I know.

I'm not saying it's okay to get married, have some kids, then run away with your gardener leaving your family behind and live a whole drama.
Think of it that way: Your beard is a friend who already came out to (in my case, a girl). She just pretends to be your girlfriend when your parents are getting too curious! Not bad, not bad.

I actually have a beard if I think about it. My best friend.
I spend so much time with her, my parents just assumed she was my new girlfriend.
The conversation always goes like this:

Mom: So, where were you yesterday?
Me: Just having dinner with <insert best friend's name here>.
Dad: Ohhhh, were you alone? *wink, wink*
Me: ... Yeah.
Mom: Yeey! She's your new girlfriend isn't she?
*Mom winks at dad, dad smiles at mom*
Me: *weird look, ja2ra* (to myself: New? Was there an old one I wasn't aware of?)
Mom: I knew it! She's such a nice girl, you know, her mom is a friend of mine and she... *bla bla bla*
Dad: Ehh, ehhh! Hayda hakkeh! Hek baddeh yek! Sar rejjel, sar rejjel! *random babbling about how I just became a man*
Me: *Raise an eyebrow: Oh gosh, please get me out of here*

So basically, I'm not lying. I'm just giving weird looks and shutting up, let my parents build me an imaginary life where I am a very straight kid they are so proud of.

My mom also spread this new life of mine to all the friends, family and neighbors. (Such a Lebanese woman, isn't she?)
So when my aunt or uncle calls I get some "When are we going to meet your new girlfriend?", "Why didn't you tell me about her?", "You know I used to play Bridge with her grandma, such a wonderful woman" and the "Kebro el wled! Kebro, kebro".
Feels like I live in a movie.

Don't worry about hiding your sexuality, your family is so determined to see you live the life they expect you to live that they will build it themselves.
Just sit, stare & shut up.
And it helps if you can raise a single eyebrow. That thing pulled me out of some awkward conversations.