I Want To Know What It's Like

Watch & cry.

Express Yourself

Well, sometimes, when you're mad , depressed, when you're having problems, when you just can't take it anymore, you just want to talk, get everything out.
But, as much as they try, your friends can't always understand your issues.

That's why everything gay person needs gay friends.
However, since homosexuality is such a taboo subject, since coming out is so hard, since homophobia is so normal, how are you supposed to know who is gay and who's not? And how are people supposed to know if you're gay?
How are you supposed to meet other gay men or women?


I've been receiving some mails from gay teenagers telling me how painful being lonely is.
And I totally agree. I don't know how I would have handled everything if I hadn't started this blog.

Seriously, how can you meet a gay man?
I can't imagine anyone coming out at school to anyone else than your close friends.
Gossips travel so fast, you can't trust everyone. And with gossips come the funny rumors.
Listening to Lady Gaga is like running naked with a rainbow flag all around the school.

So, back to the subject. Adults always have Manjam and those gay-friendly pubs. Moreover, some people do not realize they are gay until their 20s or even later.

So where does that leave us?
I have never had a boyfriend but luckily I am over my I-will-die-alone/just need somebody to love/total depression/loneliness phase. Well, actually, I am still lonely but now I don't really mind.
Being single doesn't bother me anymore. It is actually great!


But being lonely is not only about not being into a relationship.
Sometimes you need a friend that can really understand you and help you, give you advices.
A way to express yourself. 


I have met some awesome people via this blog (& I don't think any of them is a weird creepy fat old pedophile), and I think everyone deserves that chance!


I've been searching on the internet and found a lot of UK or USA based forums for gay kids which were awesome!
When I narrowed my search to Lebanese forums, I couldn't find anything that did not have "sex buddy", "horny bottom" or "sexy muscular top" in the description.

Way to go...

Best Friends?

Now that I came out to my close friends, I'm trying to tell completely random people about my sexuality.
Of course, people I can trust. 

This is pretty hard since you can't be sure they will stand up for you, they can reject you and that can be pretty painful.


Coming out to my friends really got me closer to them, since I could be myself not only around them, but around others too.

We could talk about everything and I discovered a new side of each of them. They also see me differently now. Now, I'm the gay friend.

The first thing they all said when I came out to them was
"This is not going to change a thing between us!"

Not completely true. Maybe they did not see the change, but I did.

I could see the guys feeling sometimes uncomfortable around me, but also asking me for advices about relationships and stuff.
I could see the girls trusting me more and more, sharing things they wouldn't normally share with a guy.

I don't mind that. It's fun. It's what I was expecting. It's what I was trying to get ready for all this time. 


Now on the other side.

Some people just try to avoid me, tying to look busy every time I walk past them or greeting them.
I get this. I was ready for this. What can I say? Whatever.

Some others act weird. They act like I just gave them all my trust & love.
They start talking to me everyday, acting like I have just been diagnosed with a terminal disease or something...

I know they are just trying to be nice & I know this might sound mean, but I don't need this kind of sympathy...
I'm fine, I'm okay, you can just live your life and let me live mine!

Accept me and do not make a big deal out of it, and don't feel compelled to share all your dirty little secrets with me or tell me everything that passes through your mind!

You're just a random person, to whom I said a random fact about me.
Do not feel special :-)