Now that I came out to my close friends, I'm trying to tell completely random people about my sexuality.
Of course, people I can trust.
This is pretty hard since you can't be sure they will stand up for you, they can reject you and that can be pretty painful.
Coming out to my friends really got me closer to them, since I could be myself not only around them, but around others too.
We could talk about everything and I discovered a new side of each of them. They also see me differently now. Now, I'm the gay friend.
The first thing they all said when I came out to them was
"This is not going to change a thing between us!"
Not completely true. Maybe they did not see the change, but I did.
I could see the guys feeling sometimes uncomfortable around me, but also asking me for advices about relationships and stuff.
I could see the girls trusting me more and more, sharing things they wouldn't normally share with a guy.
I don't mind that. It's fun. It's what I was expecting. It's what I was trying to get ready for all this time.
Now on the other side.
Some people just try to avoid me, tying to look busy every time I walk past them or greeting them.
I get this. I was ready for this. What can I say? Whatever.
Some others act weird. They act like I just gave them all my trust & love.
They start talking to me everyday, acting like I have just been diagnosed with a terminal disease or something...
I know they are just trying to be nice & I know this might sound mean, but I don't need this kind of sympathy...
I'm fine, I'm okay, you can just live your life and let me live mine!
Accept me and do not make a big deal out of it, and don't feel compelled to share all your dirty little secrets with me or tell me everything that passes through your mind!
You're just a random person, to whom I said a random fact about me.
Do not feel special :-)
Friday, March 11, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
The Gay Family?
Another angry post.
So I was having lunch with my family on Sunday, like every Sunday.
And we were having boring Sunday conversations, like every Sunday.
The topic: My sister's friend.
So my dad starts talking about his first impression about her:
"I remember that when I found out you were hanging out with her, I told myself, why would my own daughter hang out with anyone like this? I mean, her family is gay!"
Ok, now what is that supposed to mean?
"Yeah, her uncle is gay! And apparently he has a boyfriend and stuff..."
So having a boyfriend is even worst than being gay?
See, in Lebanon every family has a reputation! Thus the expression "Iben 3ayleh" (or the family son?).
For my dad (& a lot of other homophobic/ignorant Lebanese), if a member of the family is gay, the whole family's reputation is ruined! The family is gay.
Does that even make sense? Well, not for me.
And there is more!
"I gave the girl a chance. And turns out she's not like her family! She is really sweet and fun."
Gave her a chance? What's that supposed to mean?
He basically said: I am a really nice guy for opening my heart and letting the niece of a gay guy enter my house and talk to my children.
What will he do when he'll find out that the gay is actually in his house already?
Ignorance.
So I was having lunch with my family on Sunday, like every Sunday.
And we were having boring Sunday conversations, like every Sunday.
The topic: My sister's friend.
So my dad starts talking about his first impression about her:
"I remember that when I found out you were hanging out with her, I told myself, why would my own daughter hang out with anyone like this? I mean, her family is gay!"
Ok, now what is that supposed to mean?
"Yeah, her uncle is gay! And apparently he has a boyfriend and stuff..."
So having a boyfriend is even worst than being gay?
See, in Lebanon every family has a reputation! Thus the expression "Iben 3ayleh" (or the family son?).
For my dad (& a lot of other homophobic/ignorant Lebanese), if a member of the family is gay, the whole family's reputation is ruined! The family is gay.
Does that even make sense? Well, not for me.
And there is more!
"I gave the girl a chance. And turns out she's not like her family! She is really sweet and fun."
Gave her a chance? What's that supposed to mean?
He basically said: I am a really nice guy for opening my heart and letting the niece of a gay guy enter my house and talk to my children.
What will he do when he'll find out that the gay is actually in his house already?
Ignorance.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Random Brittany S. Pierce Quotes
After reading Beirut Boy's "Evil Sue Sylvester's Quotes" I just felt the need to share Brittany's quote!
Brittany is a character you don't really notice before the spectacular "Britney/Brittany" episode, but after watching season 1 again (Yeah, I know...) I noticed her random short sentences that just didn't make any sense.
So here are the 10 best Brittany Pierce quotes:
10- "I'm paralyzed with fear. I've been here since second period. I really need to pee."
9- "Please don't pull all my teeth. I'll look like an adult baby but with boobs."
8- "Mr. Schue taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after M and N. I thought they sounded too similar and got frustrated."
7- "I thought heart attacks were from loving too much." (This is actually cute :-P)
6- "People think I went on vacation, but actually I spent all summer lost in the sewers"
5- "I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary."
4- Kurt:"What are you dressing up as for Halloween this year?"
Brittany: "I'm going as a peanut allergy"
3- "Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?"
2- "It's the glee club with the football team... it's like a double rainbow. A zombie double rainbow."
Annddd...
1- "I don't brush my teeth, I rinse my mouth with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist."
Brittany is a character you don't really notice before the spectacular "Britney/Brittany" episode, but after watching season 1 again (Yeah, I know...) I noticed her random short sentences that just didn't make any sense.
So here are the 10 best Brittany Pierce quotes:
10- "I'm paralyzed with fear. I've been here since second period. I really need to pee."
9- "Please don't pull all my teeth. I'll look like an adult baby but with boobs."
8- "Mr. Schue taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after M and N. I thought they sounded too similar and got frustrated."
7- "I thought heart attacks were from loving too much." (This is actually cute :-P)
6- "People think I went on vacation, but actually I spent all summer lost in the sewers"
5- "I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary."
4- Kurt:"What are you dressing up as for Halloween this year?"
Brittany: "I'm going as a peanut allergy"
3- "Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?"
2- "It's the glee club with the football team... it's like a double rainbow. A zombie double rainbow."
Annddd...
1- "I don't brush my teeth, I rinse my mouth with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist."
Thursday, February 10, 2011
The Ugly Truth about High School
High school.
The best years of your life, nothing matters, everything's so easy.
Trying to get in pubs at Gemmayze or Monnot, making out with random people, new experiences.
Everybody remembers their high school years. It is just something you cannot forget.
Everybody wishes they could go back to being so carefree.
On the other side, teenagers just want to grow up have more freedom, be themselves.
But they also want to enjoy their youth as much as possible.
For me, high-school is just the 3 unbearable years that separate me from getting the hell out of here.
Teenagers... They are just so immature, so sad, so annoying, so stubborn, so dogmatic!
Let's take the people at my school. Very strict Catholic school.
Well that doesn't mean there aren't Muslim students too! There happens to be one in my class.
So, Arabic literature lesson, talking about Islam. Everybody knows the guy is Muslim but they don't give a rat's ass!
They just say what they want to say, criticize Islamic beliefs, feeling smart, getting everyone's attention... and the guy is just sitting there, listening, trying to stay discreet with everyone staring at him.
I can't even imagine being in this position. I can't even imagine what's passing by this guy's head. All this hate, all this anger. He can't get it out. Why? Cause he's part of the minority? Cause if he does things will just get worse?
How disgusting is this!
Kif elkon 3ein?!
I have to bear this too. These awkward moments.
A lot of French poets were gay.
So yeah, homosexuality is a regular topic during French literature lessons.
Homophobic comments, laughing, weird looks... I get it all.
But, after a loud cough and a I-just-erased-you-from-my-life look, everyone shuts up and stares randomly at the floor.
I haven't told everybody that I am gay, but that doesn't mean they do not know.
Rumors are fun. They go from "Yeah, I think he's gay" to "This guy stalked him and fucked him in the bathroom".
Yeah... fun.
So, I get the weird looks in the locker room,
I get the weird looks in general,
I get the friendly hugs who turn into awkward moments,
I get the comments I don't want to hear.
Fortunately, enough people know, so with more loud coughs and looks, everyone shuts up.
Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
Works fine.
But now, the new trend is to use "gay" as an insult.
"Chou louteh haydaa!"
Yeah, I hear that everyday. It became natural.
And there's more!
Now, you can't even leave your Facebook profile logged in, or your phone unsupervised without getting your status changed to "Gay and proud" or a broadcast sent to all your contacts.
So, high school people, get a life, and grow up.
The best years of your life, nothing matters, everything's so easy.
Trying to get in pubs at Gemmayze or Monnot, making out with random people, new experiences.
Everybody remembers their high school years. It is just something you cannot forget.
Everybody wishes they could go back to being so carefree.
On the other side, teenagers just want to grow up have more freedom, be themselves.
But they also want to enjoy their youth as much as possible.
For me, high-school is just the 3 unbearable years that separate me from getting the hell out of here.
Teenagers... They are just so immature, so sad, so annoying, so stubborn, so dogmatic!
Let's take the people at my school. Very strict Catholic school.
Well that doesn't mean there aren't Muslim students too! There happens to be one in my class.
So, Arabic literature lesson, talking about Islam. Everybody knows the guy is Muslim but they don't give a rat's ass!
They just say what they want to say, criticize Islamic beliefs, feeling smart, getting everyone's attention... and the guy is just sitting there, listening, trying to stay discreet with everyone staring at him.
I can't even imagine being in this position. I can't even imagine what's passing by this guy's head. All this hate, all this anger. He can't get it out. Why? Cause he's part of the minority? Cause if he does things will just get worse?
How disgusting is this!
Kif elkon 3ein?!
I have to bear this too. These awkward moments.
A lot of French poets were gay.
So yeah, homosexuality is a regular topic during French literature lessons.
Homophobic comments, laughing, weird looks... I get it all.
But, after a loud cough and a I-just-erased-you-from-my-life look, everyone shuts up and stares randomly at the floor.
I haven't told everybody that I am gay, but that doesn't mean they do not know.
Rumors are fun. They go from "Yeah, I think he's gay" to "This guy stalked him and fucked him in the bathroom".
Yeah... fun.
So, I get the weird looks in the locker room,
I get the weird looks in general,
I get the friendly hugs who turn into awkward moments,
I get the comments I don't want to hear.
Fortunately, enough people know, so with more loud coughs and looks, everyone shuts up.
Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
Works fine.
But now, the new trend is to use "gay" as an insult.
"Chou louteh haydaa!"
Yeah, I hear that everyday. It became natural.
And there's more!
Now, you can't even leave your Facebook profile logged in, or your phone unsupervised without getting your status changed to "Gay and proud" or a broadcast sent to all your contacts.
So, high school people, get a life, and grow up.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Nineteen Eighty-Four
Two + Two = Five
Will you ever believe this?
A government that watches your every move, listens to everything you say with telescreens and hidden microphones.
A government that controls your thoughts and even your feelings.
This is George Orwell's vision for 1984.
His book written during World War II shows all the negativity that this war created.
The protagonist, Winston Smith seek rebellion against Big Brother, imaginary dictator of Oceania created to frighten the population.
He starts writing a journal, in which he pours all his negative thoughts and opinions about the party.
He begins a love affair with a young woman, Julia.
But their rebellion is useless, two people are just powerless.
The unexpected ending really is shocking and disturbing.
Many of Orwell's concept became famous.
The concept of reality TV comes from the fact that everyone is being watched at all times.
Doublethink is the act of mutually accepting two contradictory beliefs.
1984 is a classic novel you have to read!
Will you ever believe this?
A government that watches your every move, listens to everything you say with telescreens and hidden microphones.
A government that controls your thoughts and even your feelings.
This is George Orwell's vision for 1984.
His book written during World War II shows all the negativity that this war created.
The protagonist, Winston Smith seek rebellion against Big Brother, imaginary dictator of Oceania created to frighten the population.
He starts writing a journal, in which he pours all his negative thoughts and opinions about the party.
He begins a love affair with a young woman, Julia.
But their rebellion is useless, two people are just powerless.
The unexpected ending really is shocking and disturbing.
Many of Orwell's concept became famous.
The concept of reality TV comes from the fact that everyone is being watched at all times.
Doublethink is the act of mutually accepting two contradictory beliefs.
"It was terribly dangerous to let your thoughts wander when you were in any public place or within range of a telescreen. The smallest thing could give you away. A nervous tic, an unconscious look of anxiety, a habit of muttering to yourself--anything that carried with it the suggestion of abnormality, of having something to hide. In any case, to wear an improper expression on your face...; was itself a punishable offense. There was even a word for it in Newspeak: facecrime..."
1984 is a classic novel you have to read!
Burlesque
It takes a legend, to make a star...
It is not often that we see two divas staring in the same movie.
Burlesque made me like musicals again.
I was so happy to see Cher singing . I was expecting more than two songs to be honest, but they truly are amazing!
You Haven't Seen the Last of Me won alone 3 awards.
Christina, on the other hand really surprised me. After Bionic, I thought I would never hear her real voice again.
It's rare to see a white woman sing like that.
My personal favorite is Good Girl.
I really wanted to Christina and Cher to sing together :-(
Their voices are so different but would blend perfectly together.
Another surprise was Kristen Bell.
She's one of my favorite actress, but has always been the innocent Veronica Mars to me, or the petite blond who plays in romantic comedies.
It was good to see her play a completely different role!
The soundtrack is on repeat.
It is not often that we see two divas staring in the same movie.
Burlesque made me like musicals again.
I was so happy to see Cher singing . I was expecting more than two songs to be honest, but they truly are amazing!
You Haven't Seen the Last of Me won alone 3 awards.
Christina, on the other hand really surprised me. After Bionic, I thought I would never hear her real voice again.
It's rare to see a white woman sing like that.
My personal favorite is Good Girl.
I really wanted to Christina and Cher to sing together :-(
Their voices are so different but would blend perfectly together.
Another surprise was Kristen Bell.
She's one of my favorite actress, but has always been the innocent Veronica Mars to me, or the petite blond who plays in romantic comedies.
It was good to see her play a completely different role!
The soundtrack is on repeat.
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