If you had asked me two years ago what I thought about kids, I would have given you a disgusted look and go on and on about how I hate them!
It is not before this year that I realized what caused that unexplained hate.
I hated kids because... well, I love them.
This idea that I will never have kids of my own just pushed me towards this hate, like some sort of way to protect me from being hurt one day.
You can talk to me for days about adopting or surrogates or any alternative to have children, but for me, nothing can be compared to having a little half-you half-your-significant-other running around the house.
If this was even possible, I would have never considered not having kids. But since it is not and probably never will be, being a father is no priority for me. Even adopting is not something I am keen on.
It is not that I am not able to love a kid that is not mine.
This summer like last summer, I will be working at a summer camp for kids. However, these kids are very... special. They all come from rich families and are very spoiled.
Now this can sometimes be annoying like when you ask them to make their beds and they tell you about how their maid always do that for them back at home, or when they start unpacking their Ralph Lauren polos and Ray Bans and start showing them to their friends. (I am talking about 6-year olds here)
And it can sometimes be pretty sad. Like they say, money is the root of all problems: absent parents, divorces, etc. Last year, a kid has been picked up by his cook after he hadn't talked to his parents for a week.
But kids are kids. They have this magical way of seing the world and are adorably naive. Their energy just makes me happy and their imagination will never stop surprising me. They can have fun doing anything and never get bored.
Yes, I love kids and I don't know if going back to hating them would be more simple for me.
It is not before this year that I realized what caused that unexplained hate.
I hated kids because... well, I love them.
This idea that I will never have kids of my own just pushed me towards this hate, like some sort of way to protect me from being hurt one day.
You can talk to me for days about adopting or surrogates or any alternative to have children, but for me, nothing can be compared to having a little half-you half-your-significant-other running around the house.
If this was even possible, I would have never considered not having kids. But since it is not and probably never will be, being a father is no priority for me. Even adopting is not something I am keen on.
It is not that I am not able to love a kid that is not mine.
This summer like last summer, I will be working at a summer camp for kids. However, these kids are very... special. They all come from rich families and are very spoiled.
Now this can sometimes be annoying like when you ask them to make their beds and they tell you about how their maid always do that for them back at home, or when they start unpacking their Ralph Lauren polos and Ray Bans and start showing them to their friends. (I am talking about 6-year olds here)
And it can sometimes be pretty sad. Like they say, money is the root of all problems: absent parents, divorces, etc. Last year, a kid has been picked up by his cook after he hadn't talked to his parents for a week.
But kids are kids. They have this magical way of seing the world and are adorably naive. Their energy just makes me happy and their imagination will never stop surprising me. They can have fun doing anything and never get bored.
Yes, I love kids and I don't know if going back to hating them would be more simple for me.
Adopting kids shouldn't be a problem. This idea that "oh they're not my chromosomes" in that person is a moot point anyway. I mean if you offer a kid a shelter a home I am sure you can love him as much as another parent would love one "of their own".
ReplyDeleteSome parents are so horrible that even with the ability to have kids of their own genes, they mess it up badly.
Prove to the world that you could do it better!
Much love my brother
But I love my chromosomes! Okay, just kidding...
DeleteI am not going to adopt kids just to prove the world that I can be a good father.
Adopting and having kids of my own is just not the same for me even if I am convinced that I would love an adopted kid as much as my biological son. It is just... different.
Thinking about having kids at this young age? You are a special person indeed. Loved your post.
ReplyDeleteI hope one day you will realize your dream and have kids you will call your own, whether they were adopted or your direct descendants.
You would be surprised if you could see was happens inside my head every day!
DeleteI'm glad you enjoyed this post.
I hope I will too, I guess only time will tell. :-)