I am in a friendly, discrimination-free environment where diversity is not only accepted, but also praised.
I am with very competitive people who always look for someone who will stand out, someone who is different.
Scenario 1:
I hide my sexuality, or just don't mention it.
Gay men and straight men are equal. Isn't equality what we keep fighting for?
Being gay is indeed an advantage, but I will not use it.
Does this make me an idiot who can't make a smart move to win, or does it make me an honest man who asks for equality and acts upon his demand?
Scenario 2:
I talk about my sexuality and my experiences.
I've been through a lot because of it, from discrimination to bullying, and this gives me an advantage that I should use.
People will remember me and I will get their attention.
Does this make me an attention-seeking competitive bitch, or does it make a smart man who can use everything to his advantage?
I am asking for your opinion because I had to take this choice more than once and never really got close to a decision. I will face this dilemma very often and I need to think about it, I just wanted to see what you would do or what you did in this situation.
Gay men are not straight men.
Gay men do not want to be treated like straight men.
Should we praise this difference or not?
There is a sharp difference between equality and equal rights.
Which one should we ask for?
I am with very competitive people who always look for someone who will stand out, someone who is different.
Scenario 1:
I hide my sexuality, or just don't mention it.
Gay men and straight men are equal. Isn't equality what we keep fighting for?
Being gay is indeed an advantage, but I will not use it.
Does this make me an idiot who can't make a smart move to win, or does it make me an honest man who asks for equality and acts upon his demand?
Scenario 2:
I talk about my sexuality and my experiences.
I've been through a lot because of it, from discrimination to bullying, and this gives me an advantage that I should use.
People will remember me and I will get their attention.
Does this make me an attention-seeking competitive bitch, or does it make a smart man who can use everything to his advantage?
I am asking for your opinion because I had to take this choice more than once and never really got close to a decision. I will face this dilemma very often and I need to think about it, I just wanted to see what you would do or what you did in this situation.
Gay men are not straight men.
Gay men do not want to be treated like straight men.
Should we praise this difference or not?
There is a sharp difference between equality and equal rights.
Which one should we ask for?
if you see that the coming out part is fit in the conversation, why not. you shouldn't be scared of showing who you are. they will appreciate your sincerity and diversity. it will help you express yourself. there's nothing about you showing off, it's just who you are. let your differences be your advantages and not your secrets that are kept buried deep down.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Finally someone who can give me a straight answer :)
ReplyDeleteHow do you mean by:
ReplyDeleteI- "Gay men do not want to be treated like straight men", in which context ?
II- "make a smart man who can use everything to his advantage" How smart ?
Once clarified, I'll provide you with a comment.
!_ Gay men and straight men are different. Why should they be treated the same way? I am going to generalize but, gay men get bullied, they face hate and discrimination, while straight men might face a different kind of problems, wether it is through their adolescence or in their adult life. Therefore, they both have their own experience to share. This is true with every human being but don't you think that it can be applied here?
ReplyDeleteI do not want to be treated like a straight man because I did not live the life a straight man lived.
II_ A smart man is a man who will use his sexual orientation to his advantage. A gay man might come out to stand out and be remember while a straight man will blend in more easily.
I hope this clarifies everything :) Looking forward to your answer!
Your clarfication doesn't help much, for it is still, from my point of view, based on generalization. A fallacy.
ReplyDeleteHomosexuality puts me in a position where I find myself not only enduring criticism but also defending my own sexuality, [Should I wish so, since ignorance is a bliss]. I personally believe that people are people. We all have differences, whether it is our race, religion, ethnic background, or sexuality. At one time, it was considered acceptable to condemn and discriminate against the blacks. In today’s society, however, this behavior is looked down upon by most and considered despicable. The treatment of and the assumptions made about gays are despicable and hopefully will change in the future for the better. I, one night, found myself in a situation that was reminiscent of something that would have occurred in the sixties when ignorance was rampant.
The notion that people fail to comprehend is that they are emulating the puritan’s straight laced beliefs and are prejudice against gays and lesbians. Many people are oblivious of the laws that prohibit homosexuals the rights that characterize them as human beings. Most [straight] people do not think about their rights and they are frequently taken for granted.
I fail to see how straights and gays are different, and don't want to be treated the same. If that is the case, then, how would you like to be treated and in which context? The only difference is the sexual preference.
No matter what it's up to you. I think you shouldn't go for it until you're a 100% sure you want to and are fully ready to take on any senario that might come up. Because honestly, and I am quoting a tv show right here, behind every worst case senario, there's a worse worst case senario. As sad as that is, but it's true. It could go eitherway, it could be better than you expected or worse, but unless you're 100% sure you WANT to do it, you shouldn't.
ReplyDeleteAs for myself, I chose not to go out of the closet fully until I'm on a plane out of Lebanon, mainly because as tough as I try to be, I really don't want to sit and listen to everyone whispering about me or hear any comment I don't deserve but have to deal with cause that's their opinion. I want to do it on my way to some place else where I know I could start fresh, in a place I know people would accept my sexuality. so I'm waiting till then, the choice is yours alone no matter what any of us tell you. so Think it over, ask yourself whether you want to do it, whether it matters to you what your loved ones think or might say about it and whether you're ready to take on anything that might come your way.
I don't really mind the whispers and the gossips.
ReplyDeleteYou know, coming out to complete strangers is so easy and simple.
You're not afraid to lose their friendship, you're not afraid their will turn their back on you.
Personally, I am sick of living in a closet and I am coming out to almost every new person I meet, it is just easier that way, no disappointments.
As for my friends and acquaintances, they are all over this blog, reading every single post, every single word.
My family is just ostracized and I plan on keeping all this drama away from them.
Anyway my question was, do you think that when you come out to someone, they will remember you more than they remember other people?
Thank you for your comment LR :)
Well in that case go with your instincts tell you, if you want to come out, go for it. The people who care about you won't think of anyone but you. Just know that. But truth is, some might but in the end a few days, weeks, months later they'll realize what they've done and come back. Depends on the people.
ReplyDeleteand you're welcome sweetheart.
hi! well in my opinion it is a wonderful experience coming out, but it is also very painful... too often freedom for us gays is painful and you have to climb through a path of thorns to reach the prize and if you don't find it that hard to come out, i encourage you to come out and get it over with, it really isn't a big deal, whether it will be a cry for attention or a brilliant card on the deck, depends on the people around you, meaning it depends on how others receive that info but you will never KNOW if you don't try :)
ReplyDelete"If you never try, you never know."
DeleteI like that. :-)
In a way, you've come out by creating this blog and telling all the new people you meet you're gay. Also, most people probably know you're gay, at least they sense it but might not know how to interpret it.
ReplyDeleteI know I did! I was just confused at the time, I didn't really know if I could just talk about randomly :-P
DeletePeople love you Karim and admire you, not just because you have the courage to write this blog but because you're a great guy. You have a wicked sense of humor, are fucking smart, cultured, kind, sensitive, handsome as hell, and loyal (and the list goes on). People love you. I have watched you grow up and become the amazing man that you are. And I think you're brilliant. I adore you. :)
DeleteThis is the most adorable comment I ever read. Thank you so much for those kind words :')
DeleteUgh, now I really want to know who you are! Why do you have to be anonymous?