Friday, March 11, 2011

Best Friends?

Now that I came out to my close friends, I'm trying to tell completely random people about my sexuality.
Of course, people I can trust. 

This is pretty hard since you can't be sure they will stand up for you, they can reject you and that can be pretty painful.


Coming out to my friends really got me closer to them, since I could be myself not only around them, but around others too.

We could talk about everything and I discovered a new side of each of them. They also see me differently now. Now, I'm the gay friend.

The first thing they all said when I came out to them was
"This is not going to change a thing between us!"

Not completely true. Maybe they did not see the change, but I did.

I could see the guys feeling sometimes uncomfortable around me, but also asking me for advices about relationships and stuff.
I could see the girls trusting me more and more, sharing things they wouldn't normally share with a guy.

I don't mind that. It's fun. It's what I was expecting. It's what I was trying to get ready for all this time. 


Now on the other side.

Some people just try to avoid me, tying to look busy every time I walk past them or greeting them.
I get this. I was ready for this. What can I say? Whatever.

Some others act weird. They act like I just gave them all my trust & love.
They start talking to me everyday, acting like I have just been diagnosed with a terminal disease or something...

I know they are just trying to be nice & I know this might sound mean, but I don't need this kind of sympathy...
I'm fine, I'm okay, you can just live your life and let me live mine!

Accept me and do not make a big deal out of it, and don't feel compelled to share all your dirty little secrets with me or tell me everything that passes through your mind!

You're just a random person, to whom I said a random fact about me.
Do not feel special :-)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The Gay Family?

Another angry post.

So I was having lunch with my family on Sunday, like every Sunday.
And we were having boring Sunday conversations, like every Sunday.
The topic: My sister's friend.

So my dad starts talking about his first impression about her:

"I remember that when I found out you were hanging out with her, I told myself, why would my own daughter hang out with anyone like this? I mean, her family is gay!"

Ok, now what is that supposed to mean?

"Yeah, her uncle is gay! And apparently he has a boyfriend and stuff..."

So having a boyfriend is even worst than being gay?

See, in Lebanon every family has a reputation! Thus the expression "Iben 3ayleh" (or the family son?).
For my dad (& a lot of other homophobic/ignorant Lebanese), if a member of the family is gay, the whole family's reputation is ruined! The family is gay.

Does that even make sense? Well, not for me.

And there is more!

"I gave the girl a chance. And turns out she's not like her family! She is really sweet and fun."

Gave her a chance? What's that supposed to mean?
He basically said: I am a really nice guy for opening my heart and letting the niece of a gay guy enter my house and talk to my children.

What will he do when he'll find out that the gay is actually in his house already?

Ignorance.