A Year & A Day

Here we are, a year and a day later. Time flies, it flies indeed.
How can I describe what I'm feeling right now?

Relief, mainly because I'm posting things only a few people know, online, for everyone to read. Luckily enough, this blog has maintained its discretion and only a couple of acquaintances found it and made the connection to me.
Regret, mainly because I had to keep my full name to myself, and my spontaneous courage and bravery didn't last long.

You know, sometimes I read some of my old posts and think "Did I really write this?"
I guess it is part of being a teenager. Changing mood and interests so fast that you don't even recognize yourself even after only a year.
I decided to resist the urge to erase every post I've written so far, though. I thought that keeping these is the best way to realize how much I've changed, how much I grew up, which road I had decided to take, the choices I had to make... All these little things that define me, all these parts and pieces of my life, of my soul, all of that is kept in here.

Anyway, I am you and you are me.
I never would have kept this blog alive if it wasn't for you.
My life is yours, our experiences are similar.
So thank you, thank you for reading this, thank you for everything.

The Short Story

It was just another day in the city.
The white sun was up, the black birds were waking up, the world was slowly getting ready for another day.
But it was not just any day.

See, a kid lived in the city.
A kid, just like any kid.
His parents taught him about right and wrong.
But the kid was skeptic, the kid was curious. He had to see for himself.

So the kid decided to be happy.
But how can one be happy? The kid smiled.
And what happened then, no one can explain.
The sun shone brighter than it ever shone before.
Then, the world stopped.
The kid could not stop smiling.
The birds could not stop singing.
The sun could not stop shining.

And he just stood there, letting the sun burn his skin, letting the peaceful silence fill him up.
He liked it.

But something was wrong. Something was missing.
The kid wanted to try something else.

So the kid decided to be sad.
But how can one be sad? The kid cried.
And what happened then, no one can explain.
The black clouds covered the white sky, and it started raining heavily.
Then, the world stopped.
The kid could not stop crying.
The thunder could not stop roaring.
The rain could not stop falling.

And he just stood there, feeling the rain's anger, feeling the thunder's madness.
He liked it.

But something was wrong. Something was missing.
The kid wanted to try something else.

But there was nothing else to try.
The world was in black and white, bad and good, sad and happy.
"Can I ever have both?" thought the kid.

And what happened then, no one can explain.
The sun was shining, the rain was falling.
Then, the world stopped.
The kid what confused, he saw colors.
The kid saw the rainbow.

And he just stood there, under the peaceful sun, under the angry rain.
He loved it.

Growing Up

"This is the funny thing about growing up. For years and years, everybody is so desperately afraid to be different, in any way.
And then suddenly, almost overnight, everybody wants to be different.
And that is where we win."

- Mitch
Modern Family

Lose Yourself.

A friend of mine convinced me to watch an episode of Skins.
It's this creepy British TV show in which everyone is high, drunk, masturbating, having sex, setting fire to stuff,  or any combination of all of the above.

The only thing I liked in the show were the ridiculously funny and unrealistic situation every character is in, and the song at the end of every episode. Nefi & Girly.

This song is like a drug. It got me high. Literally.

I discovered this whole new kind of music called shoegazing.
It's like a abundance of guitar effect and random babbling mixed together.
The art of doing music while looking and sounding high.

That's pretty and all but what's every better is that the band Asobi Seksu is Japanese!
For a Japanophile like me it is a big big deal.
My obsession transformed from listening to the song, to listening to the band's discography all day.

You should really listen to it. It's like nothing you ever heard before but it's nice.

I'm With You

I have been waiting for Red Hot Chili Pepper's new album all summer long.
It is and has always been my favorite band of all time. I grew up listening to their albums, watching their concerts, learning their guitar solos...
I always enjoyed their extreme vocals and hardcore solos. I especially love Flea, the bassist.

So the band came back, after a long long break. But it's not the same band at all.

"This is a new band. Same name, but it's a new band."

Their new album is nice. Not what I was expecting.

The favorite songs: 

The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie. It's just amazing. Smooth and nice until the guitar solo which is just great but too short.

Did I Let You Know. It's nothing like their old work but I love it! The saxophone part was a nice surprise.

I've been neglecting my bass lately.
These songs made me want to play again!

The world is forgetting the power of musical instruments.

PG50

Yes, I am just a kid. No, I do not know how it feels like to be 50. 
These are just observations on the behavior of men and women, going through their midlife crisis.

1) The Midlife Crisis
This happens when the subject steals stuff from his kid's wardrobe. It can get really dangerous when the subject is a father who only has daughters.
The subject can also feel the need to adapt to the new technology and the new lifestyle.
Eg: The Cousin.
The guy shows up at ever family event with a new accessory that is just too ridiculous. One time it was the creepy sunglasses, next time the hat. Give the kid his stuff back!!
Eg#2: The Mother.
She started taking English lessons and asked me to teach her how to use a Mac. She's doing pretty well too!

2) The 60s Crisis
This happens when the subject gets a mini heart attack every time he hears about someone's death. Especially when this person is younger than the subject is. However, their response is less wild and more like... Relatively rebellious.
Eg: The Father.
When he heard about Steve Jobs death he almost cried... Then he asked who the guy was. Then he asked what Apple was.
His answer to that? He did NOT tuck his shirt into his pants before going out.
This is just... Rawr.

3) The Older People's Crisis
This happens when the subject is completely and absolutely sure he is going to die soon, even if he is in perfect health. The subject will start talking about legacy and use words like "the next generation".
Eg: The Aunt.
Every time you miss a family dinner she will go like "It might have been the last time you see me!". When you pass an exam or something like that she will start saying things like "I'm so sorry I will not be there when you graduate!"

To Fight or Not To Fight?

Let's set the background: Catholic school, religion class every week, priests talking about God'ish stuff.

I've had the luck to get the coolest religion teachers through the years: Last year,  guy who failed to become a priest (I have no idea how he did that); and this year, an open-minded French women.
However, a friend of mine got the mean grumpy fanatic priest who pukes rosaries and shoot crosses out of his... hm... eyes.

That friend of mine?
If you watch Will & Grace, she's Grace.
If you don't, she's a gay man, whose purpose in life is to find the perfect gay husband.
Let's call her Grace.

So, that priest had the bad idea to talk about homosexuality.
"In a corrupted country, during wartime, the number of pedophiles and homosexuals rises dramatically."


I don't even want to picture what happened in Grace's head at that time.
And that is how the 50-minute argument about gay rights started.

When she came back to class she was so mad, shaking, screaming and tearing up.
What did he say, what did she say? Oh, the usual. Love versus Hate, Reason versus Religion, Open-Mindness versus Stubbornness.

It is, however, what she said to me that got me thinking.
When I asked why did she give the poor idiot attention, why did she fight, when she knew that he wasn't going to change his mind about anything, she said "You gave up, I didn't."

Did I? Did I just give up?
If I were in her situation I would just have randomly commented and gave the guy a I-just-killed-you-40-different-times-inside-my-head-and-it-ain't-pretty look.
(I have a lot of looks.)

He gave his life to the dude in heavens, he's a priest.
How are some 16-year-old kids going to change his whole life?

He's an idiot. He's stubborn.
His ideas about gay people are never going to affect me.

Now if one of my friend said something like that, he/she would have been cut into tiny pieces and buried under a rainbow.

Yes, I lost my faith in these old Lebanese narrow-minded guys that think they got everything right.
Is it a bad thing?

They don't deserve my time or effort.
They're just gonna rot in rainbow-hell, burned by the rainbow-flames and eaten by the rainbow-devils and I'm gonna forget all about them cause I'll be far far away in rainbow-heaven, where the rainbow-sun is shining and the rainbow-birds are singing.