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Sunday, May 1, 2011

Free As A Bird: To Immigrate, or not to Immigrate? - By Ralph H.

 I look at the world and I notice its turning.
If I go there is no turning back, If I leave there is a huge possibility that I won’t come back home, back here, back to Lebanon. But it was never my choice to leave in the first place. The only thing I did was get used to the idea of going away, leaving, immigrating, whatever you want to call it. Lebanon has been a breeding ground for hatred, homophobia, disgust, prejudice, loneliness. But it is also my home country, it is where all my friends live, it is where all my memories, or most of them, lie. Every Lebanese person complains about Lebanon, only in the end to say that this is the best country in the world. But is it? Are we only saying that out of sheer patriotism or obligation or do we believe in the words that escape us? In my opinion it is only because we got so used to the traffic, to the people, the swear words, the gossip, the drops of water hitting your face while you walk along the sea front, the shopping, the downtown, Hamra street, Gemayzeh, Monot, Byblos, Fairuz, friends, family, the small villages nestled in the protective twists and turns of the overlapping mountains… the list could go on forever. I think every country is unique in its own way; every country has something worth discovering. The question remains, to move, or not to move? I think most of us at some point proclaim that we cannot wait to pack our bags and leave. I remain one of those people. I am surrounded by these people. It is almost all I think about. Beirut I love you, I love you not. I have found more freedom abroad, freedom to act the way I want to, freedom to wear whatever I want tom freedom to say whatever I want to… I cannot live in any country where I cannot truly by myself to everyone, where I have to hide. I think everyone feels the same way.
By Ralph H.

4 comments:

  1. I can't tell you what to do , but see if you can rent a small appartment alone or with friends. So can be more independent in Beirut. And if your parents disagree...well you can always consider immigrating.

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  2. decision, decisions... all i can suggest is to leave your parents house and go out on your own as Anon1 suggested.
    Its interesting that the message in Lebanon is not for the young men and women to leave and stay because Lebanon"needs" them.. yet those in power due very little to bring out the change that the youth is seeking.

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  3. Well Karim you are well aware that I am in the same boat as you. Remember that whatever you decide, it's your life. You can't anchor yourself to a place because of the memories. You'll make new ones, better ones.
    But of course you don't have to emigrate in order to fulfill that. Whether you just move out of your parent's house or move out of the country, just remember that it always gets better from where you are now in your parent's house. You'll always have your friends backing you up.
    <3

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  4. Note: It is actually a friend who wrote this, I just added his name to the title since a lot of you haven't noticed the name at the end of the post. :-P

    @Anonymous 1: I don't think moving out is a solution here in Lebanon since everyone knows everyone and whatever you do or say is going to get to your parents one way or another.

    @Anonymous 2: Yeah, everyone keeps complaining about the high immigration but they don't realize that they are the ones pushing everyone away.

    @LebaGaGa: Again, it's a friend who wrote this :) But I do agree with him.
    I have the choice to leave or to stay. I will choose the best option and in this case the best option is to leave.
    I never even thought of my friends and all the memories because I'm a selfish person and also because they are all trying to leave too.

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